Christmas 2012

Merry Christmas 2012!

We celebrated at Nik's house and were spoiled rotten...seriously rotten!

6 years

Who cares that we actually let the day come and go without realizing December 6th was our 6 yr anniversary? Who cares it was December 12th before I realized it? I guess things like our beautiful daughter are more important these days than celebrating a Match.com lunch date.

Happy 6 years, Babycakes!

So excited for the year we have in front of us as we transform our lives!

Sandy Hook

Friday we were all horrified to learn of the school shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary in Newtown, CT. I was obsessed with news coverage all weekend. I cried over and over again each time I watched but couldn't seen to turn my eyes away.  I am literally sick at the events and I honestly cannot even imagine how those parents are coping.

SJ woke me up at 12:30 on Friday night....just another night in a long week of sleepless nights due to her being sick. As soon as I heard her, I jumped out of bed...so thankful that I have a baby calling for me. When I got back in bed, I couldn't sleep. It was now 2:35am CT time, what were those 20 Mothers doing? Were they sleeping? Could they sleep? Were they able to even leave the school, knowing their babies were still inside? Brian and I both discussed how we wouldn't be able to physically leave.

President Obama said it best when he quoted the saying that when you have a child, you begin to wear your heart outside of your body....your most precious and vital organ, on the outside of your body. Any of you Mothers out there reading this right now probably agree.

My heart just aches for these family and can only imagine what the coming weeks and months will bring....including Christmas, which is almost too much to bare.

God Bless you Sandy Hook!

Seriously?

Have a Holly, Jolly Christmas!

Brothers

Its been a long time since Deacon engaged with another dog like he used to do with our Zachey Poo Dew. This picture made me smile!

Christmas has arrived!

After much debate about Christmas trees and if a 13 month old could be controlled around one, we plowed forward with our (my) favorite shopping trip of the year....to Home Depot for our tree. Syd, dressed in an adorable snowman outfit, wandered around and was in awe of the chainsaw the men were using to cut the bottoms off of the tree.

Once home it was lunch time, which what that really means is we lucked out that she was strapped to her chair for 30 minutes while we got the tree up without the interruption of small fingers and grabby hands.

We went with a much smaller tree in hopes the branches would not be hit by passing dogs and babe and so far it is working out perfectly. I love the process of hanging each ornament and remembering the trip, vacation, person and dog that it represents. Each year it is a new surprise and I love it.

I can't wait until Syd is big enough to have the anticipation of Christmas like I do!

Thankful

Thanksgiving 2012

Granny

Just 2 months shy of her 94th birthday, Granny left us.  She was one of a kind- not the bake cookies, snuggle on the couch kind of Grandmother- rather a throw back a glass of wine, hook a fish, shoot a deer kind of Granny. She loved to argue and always thought her way was the right way (wonder where I get it!?!?) But, she also loved her Grandchildren dearly. I know when I needed her most, she stepped up to the plate without blinking an eye. She gave Brian and I a gift when we were at one of the most desperate times in our lives in trying to start a family through medial treatments.

She loved Sydney James so much. She always asked me, "Do you love being a Mom?" and always cried when saying goodbye to SJ. It was always so sweet. 

We will miss you Granny and I promise Sydney will always know what you did for us, and her. 

Ruxin Dew

We have a new addition! On October 15th we adopted Ruxin Dew, from Big Dogs Huge Paws, Inc. He is a 4 yr old Dogue de Bordeaux (French Mastiff). He is as sweet as they come and seriously has the cutest face I've seen in quite some time. 

Someone elses loss was our gain.

Ruxin, no longer will you go hungry. No longer will you be locked outside. No longer will you need to be afraid of humans. You are here to stay. Welcome home, Ruxie!

SJ is 1

Sydney James is 1. We had an amazing weekend celebrating her first year. Meme, Bubba, Auntie Becky, Ella and Chloe flew in to make the weekend even more special.

Syd is so blessed to be loved by so many people!

There are no words for how much this little girl means to me, how much she changed us one year ago.  Until she is a mother herself, she will never know how much I love her.

Rock Creek Pumpkin Farm 2012

Our Pumpkin Patch tradition started this year (yes, Babycakes, this is a new tradition!). We headed up to Rock Creek. Syd was still a little young, but fun none the less. She had fun tripping, falling and eating dirt and leave!

It was a great afternoon off work before we kicked of Syd's birthday weekend.

1 year ago today at....

12:00pm- Doctor's Appt & decision to induce...

12:45pm- Call to Grandma goes something like, "Are you ready to be a Grandma again tomorrow?"...

1:00pm- Back to work and firing off frantic emails that Baby Dew was coming 2 weeks early and I was signing off...

5:30pm- Dinner at Red Robin with Brian...

6:30pm- Hospital Check in...

8:00pm- Meds started....

And so began my induction...it would last almost 48 hours..and than the most perfect, beautiful girl with black hair entered our world and changed it forever.

Where have I been?

My blog is wondering where I've been....shame, shame!

Here is our beautiful 11 month old....who likes to throw fits now! She is a walkin' fool, smiles and laughs all the time, does the absolute opposite of what we tell her to don a daily basis and is the most precious thing I've ever met. She makes us laugh so much and we both feel like we are the luckiest people in the world to be her parents.

We took a drive to Mt Evans this weekend to see the falls colors!

We have a lot of exciting life events coming up, the most important being Punky's 1st birthday! Meme, Bubba, Auntie Becky & the girls are flying out for the big event!

Life has been so hectic since Syd's arrival as we try to work in our jobs, being parents, being a couple and you know the important stuff like trying to find time to watch more episodes of our latest obsession, Breaking Bad! We need to remember to slow down, enjoy the moments...which is something Syd has a very special way of reminding us.

I here by declare I am going to pay more attention to this blog and document all the things this life has to offer The BDews.

Boo Boo Zilla

We sadly said goodbye to our sweet Bobbie on Wednesday night. She was the coolest dog around- and the 70+ comments on FB confirmed this when I posted about her passing. The giant ears...the buggy eyes...the cool-as-a-cucumber personality...she was literally one in a million.

Bobs was my first dog. She will always hold a very special place in my heart.

The only think that helps is knowing Zachey & Sadie were waiting for her! I know she hopped on her hind legs to get at Zachey's face and She and Sadie did their usual greeting dance. I can see it in my head and it makes me smile.

I don't know really my adult life without her and I will miss her forever.

Thanks for being such a great friend, Boo-Boo!

Puerto Vallarta

This blog has been ignored. My apologies, Blog.  Let's catch up!

Puerto Vallarta, oh how we loved you! We had a great time. The resort was gorgeous. Syd was a trooper, and considering we didn't even go to dinner most night until an hour after her bedtime, I was even more impressed.

Syd was the belle of the ball and loved by everyone. Auntie Nik took great care of her and the boys melted my heart with their sweet kisses and "It's my turn to hold her now!"

 We rented a private Catamaran. It was beautiful and fun., but a 9 month old who you want out of the sun makes things a little hard on a boat! I shocked Brian being brave enough to snorkel after the Captain assured me there were no sharks.

Grandma watched the baby one day so Bri and I could have a day together. We took a cab, than a water taxi and ended up at a beautiful cliff side restaurant. It was nice to have a date day.

It was our first trip to Mexico with out Dad. Oddly enough one night at dinner the band and than the Mariachi Band played Frank Sinatra's "My Way". What are the odds of that song being played in Puerto Vallarta? When it came on, it brought tears to my eyes and when I looked up I found Mom and Nik tearing up too. Dad was just showing us he was with us.

It was a really wonderful trip with wonderful people!

Dear Dad-

You left a year ago May 24th. This is how we celebrated you...at Patty Jewett Golf Course. Dews, Zemans, Roes and Mom. I wasn't sure what to expect, I wondered if there would be a lot of tears? There wasn't- I think it was such a beautiful evening and we were in a very warm and welcoming place. We ordered a few bottles of wine for us ladies, the boys had their beers and ate dinner. Jack and Coop ran around the putting green. Syd was passed around making a ton of noise with her screeches and laughs. It honestly could not have been a more beautiful evening.

As 7:05 pm approached, we toasted you. Mom gave Nik and I each a great picture of you fishing- it now sits next to my bed. I look at you- a healthy you- every night before I turn off my light.

After our toast, Mom, Nik and I wandered out to the golf course together. We shared a few tears, a few hugs and remembered how thankful we each were to be with you those last days.

I still struggle with how to live this life without you, but I suspect I will never have a good handle on that. It will forever haunt me that you never got to hold Sydney.

But, I am so proud of us all for surviving this first year. It wasn't always pretty, it wasn't always graceful, but we did it...together.

I miss you Dad. I really, really miss you.

Love, Your Pumpkin Pie.

11 Years

Jackey Boy,

11 years ago on May 28th, you made me an Auntie. I learned a lot from your birth...mostly how great the love of child is.  I learned about loving someone much more than I loved myself.  I thought ( and still think) you are the greatest thing.

I can't even believe that was 11 years ago! Time flies. This year you became a cousin to Sydney. I am always amazed that you take the time to talk and play with her. You are so busy with your friends but always make a point to give her attention. I love that about you.

You got a phone for your birthday and I love getting text message from you. I know that this will be the way we communicate since you already hate talking on the phone! You also have a Facebook page which cracks me up. Just two reminders that you are becoming a young man.

I hope you know how much I love you and how proud of you I am. I think you are so smart, so funny and so kind hearted.  You are growing into a really great guy and know you will continue on this path!

We are going to Mexico in a month and I cannot wait for our family to spend a full week together! We are going to have so much fun!

I love you Jackey Boy.

Love.

Auntie B

Mother's Day

Yesterday,  I celebrated my first Mother’s Day. It was a long hard fought battle to be able to celebrate this day. The battle is as much of my story as are the days since the birth of my daughter. One story certainly does not exist without the other.

These days, I don’t spend too much time thinking about my journey to Motherhood. It is almost like it was erased as soon as she was born…a parting gift. But when my mind does wander back there, I am pretty amazed at what we went through. I am amazed at our strength, our perseverance, our un willingness to give up…all three qualities that we will use to parent our beautiful baby girl.

But mostly, mostly I am amazed by the love I feel for Syd. She is this little perfect human…part Brian, part me. I drink her in. I stare at her features. Every day I honestly cannot believe she is mine. When she grins her big toothless grin at me, I literally have a physical reaction of happiness.

I really feel like the luckiest girl, or Mom, in the world!

Blessings, By Laura Story

This song was sent to me after losing my Dad....I haven't heard it in a while and it always makes me stop and think when I hear it, just as it did moments ago when it came on my ipod.

We pray for blessings

We pray for peace

Comfort for family, protection while we sleep

We pray for healing, for prosperity

We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering

All the while, You hear each spoken need

Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops

What if Your healing comes through tears

What if a thousand sleepless nights

Are what it takes to know You’re near

What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom

Your voice to hear

And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near

We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love

As if every promise from Your Word is not enough

All the while, You hear each desperate plea

As long that we have faith to believe

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops

What if Your healing comes through tears

What if a thousand sleepless nights

Are what it takes to know You’re near

And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us

When darkness seems to win

We know that pain reminds this heart

That this is not, this is not our home

It's not our home

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops

What if Your healing comes through tears

And what if a thousand sleepless nights

Are what it takes to know You’re near

What if my greatest disappointments

Or the aching of this life

Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy

And what if trials of this life

The rain, the storms, the hardest nights

Are Your mercies in disguise

Can you stand it?

6 Months Old

Dear Punky,

You are 6 months old. Amazing.

A day doesn't go by when you don't make me smile, laugh. A day doesn't go by that I don't end my day thanking God for you.

Daddy and I keep talking about how much you have changed in the last month. You laugh and smile so much easier. You turn your head when your hear your name. You roll side to side. You are practicing sitting up. You absolutly love the "jumpey" toys where you can stand and jump, jump, jump.

You love the dogs and smile anytime you see them. You also got your first scratch from Deacon's paw on your leg, and you didn't even cry!

You also went on your first airplane ride to CT to see Meme, Bubba, Auntie Becky, Uncle Mike, Ella and Chloe.

We are so excited for the coming months, Punky.

I love you more than words can say!

Love, Mommy

Easter 2012

Easter Morning came with Daddy still in bed from his ankle surgery so Syd and I headed out to church by ourselves. She looked adorable in her Easter Dress

Syd's first Easter Basket....don't tell her, but Easter snuck up on me and I ran out of time to order her own personalized basket to use in the years to come!

After church we loaded up Baby and Gimpy and headed to the Springs where Syd was passed from person to person for hours!

I seriously cannot believe our girl is almost 6 months old!

Sadie Sue Sue Dew

Dear Sadie,

You left us on March 21st and I miss you like crazy. For 11.5 years you were my faithful companion. You were a very naughty monkey who begged, stole food, started dog fights, barked like crazy and emptied trashcans. You were also my cuddle buddy who followed me everywhere. You made me laugh all the time.

Our life seems so strange without your larger than life personality. It still doesn’t seem real to me that you are really gone.

I hope you know how much we loved you. I am so sorry we couldn’t fix what was making you sick.

I know Zachey was waiting for you when you got there. Now, you can wait together for me. Be sure to find my Dad and give him a few kisses for me.

I will miss you the rest of my life, Sue Sue.

Syd and her Boy

Syd is a lucky girl to spend her days with this darling boy and his Mama! We are so lucky that we can go to work each day and not worry at all about our girl because we know Lisa loves her just as much as we do!

A Love Letter to Motherhood

A Love Letter to Motherhood
by Melissa E Jordan

What is motherhood but the very best chance to learn what you are made of? It will strip you down to nothing. Make you doubt yourself a thousand times. And it will make you roar with a fierceness you’ve never before seen. It will search your heart for your greatest fears and the bravest of all your intentions and set them out on display.

... It breaks you. It saves you. It steals the girl you were. All of her. You’ll never sleep like her or be as carefree as she once was, but she’d never believe the courage or the selflessness she’ll one day possess in you. Motherhood replaces her with someone who understands love on a level the girl you were never could.

It’s okay to sometimes wish you could go back and live a day in her shoes. A day to bask in the decadence of irresponsibility. But if she could look forward: If she could see herself tested, how her fears have been faced, how the question “Am I strong enough to survive this?” is answered with a resounding yes, time after time. She’d feel damn proud to become the woman that awaits her.

Happy 8th Birthday!

Dear Coop,
Another quick year has passed! You are now 8 years old and I can’t figure out where the time has gone.

The one thing I learned about you this year was how incredibly sensitive and intuitive you are to other people’s feeling. This last year we lost Grandpa I can’t tell you how many times I would look at you and see those big blue eyes full of concern staring back at me. You began to anticipate our tears and would hurry from the room to bring us tissues.

You were also very concerned with my pregnancy and asked me lots of questions. Mostly you confirmed your thoughts over and over to me how you knew baby Sydney would be just fine.

You got out of school early to come to the hospital when Syd was born. I was so nervous and scared before going into surgery and I will never forget how right before they Nurses came for me, we took one last picture….you, me, Grandma and your Mom. I remember you reached over and held my hand and squeezed it the whole time. It made me feel so much better and I was amazed that you knew that was what I needed in that moment.

You are so sweet to Syd and I know you love her. You are so gentle and always make sure to kiss her hello and goodbye. You have promised me you will always take good care of her and I know you will.

Coop, you are such a smart and out going boy. You make me smile and laugh. You make my heart proud.

I love you Coopey!

Love,
Auntie B

March

I was driving the other day and was thinking about our upcoming trip to CT, we leave on March 21st. That date was bothering me and it took a minute to remember why...March 21st marks the 1 year anniversary of our lives changing as we know it, it marks 1 yr since we got the call to head immediately to Nik's house so our parents could talk to us about Dad's shocking diagnosis of Cancer.

We would only have 8 weeks with our Dad after that night.

I cannot believe it has been almost a year since our world was turned upside down.

Valentine's Day Week

We had a busy week of fun times!

First, Mr. Dew gave me this wonderful gift ( plus a necklace that is en route)

Than, we went to see Lady Antebellum with Nik and Mike on Wednesday night. As always, we had a great time together. Lady A was awesome!!

Than, we headed to the mountain and I skied for the first time in 7 years- OUCH is all I have to say about that. I took a nice fall on the first run but it came back to me after that. I had so much fun.

The best part is that Dad was with us all day..in the helmet that I was wearing and the shortened poles that Jack was skiing with. Pretty cool.

Syd came and met us for lunch and was the cutest snow bunny I've ever seen.

Syd, you are 4 months old today. I continued to be amazed by you each day. You are "talking" all the time making the funniest little noises ranging from quiet coos to loud screams as you find your voice. Last weekend we heard your first true belly laugh. Up until now you've giggled, but this laugh is hilarious and you always leave me wanting more.

You've been drooling for the past month so we can only assume those teeth of yours are coming. You've had a few rough nights the last 2 weeks so we hope those teeth pop through quickly!

You are such a happy baby, easily giving away your smiles! You also started rice cereal last week and we've been adding in different fruits and veggies- so far you've had Peaches, Sweet Potatoes and Bananas- you love it all! You squeal when you see me getting your bowls out.

I love you Punky, more than you will know!

What every Dad should know about their Daughter

Saw this on FB (my main source of knowledge)from Faithpromise.org. I read this with Brian in mind, but it wasn't long before I realized that my Dad did all of these things for me. We will do the same for SJ.

Last week I was dropping my daughter off for a birthday party. As I was leaving a man stopped me asking for direction. He was standing with one of my daughter’s school friends. Immediately recognizing her I put my hand out and introduced myself explaining that our daughters sit together at lunch often. His reaction was sarcastic as he gave his daughter a side-ways glance. I didn’t fully catch what he said but whatever it was it didn’t honor his daughter in any way. Looking at her I could tell this was not abnormal behavior.

I’ll be honest… I wanted to punch him.

It’s challenging to articulate the influence a father has on a little girl. How much of his attitude and actions toward her can determine her future relationships. I remember how much stock I placed in what my dad thought of me. I remember how much I wanted him to be proud of me. To affirm me. To show me my value.

I remember how he would brag about me on the sidelines of the soccer field.

How he would tell me I’m beautiful.

How he would hug me so hard I couldn’t breath.

How often he reminded me as a teenager, “Never date a boy you wouldn’t marry.”
(What a way to narrow the playing field!)

Dad’s, don’t lose sight of the impact you have today on your daughter’s future. Here are three things I encourage you to focus on:

Affirm Her

She looks to you for affirmation, encouragement, & guidance. As she grows through puberty (ESPECIALLY, as she grows through puberty), she needs your voice reminding her that she is beautiful, valuable and worthy of love. If she can learn to believe you, then she’ll believe her future husband when he tells her the same things.

Set the Standard

Be the husband you want her to have one day. Enough said. Is it difficult? Yes. Does it mean sacrifice? Yes. Is it worth it? Yes. I watch my husband daily making changes to be a better husband and dad. He’s amazing. He demonstrates for our daughter the kind of man he wants her to marry one day.

Talk About the Standard

Talk about the future. As you “Imagine the End” and think about the man you hope she marries… talk about it! Let her know what you expect. Set the bar. She’ll do everything she can to jump over it.

Let me level with you, dad. The more you affirm her today, the less she’ll seek affirmation in some teenage boy later.

Happy Birthday to Me

We celebrated my 37th (gulp!)birthday with a low key lunch at Mom's house.

The generations: Syd LOVES the balloon we got for Daddy for his birthday:

Syd and her Dad are getting me an i-phone when my contract is up in March. I decided with my 37th year I will sadly give up my beloved blackberry and attempt to learn something new.

Bri filled our kitchen and family room with these beautiful flowers:

I loved celebrating my day with my girl who was, and always will be, the best gift I've ever been given.