Saying goodbye....again

This weekend the family is heading to the mountains, a favorite weekend get away for all of us...even tho I can't tell you the last time we all managed to be up there at the same time. But this weekend, it is a priority for us all. Mom, The Zemans, Aunt Denise & Woo....we are going to celebrate Dad and say goodbye...again.

We rented a house in Breck (cue Dad rolling over in his grave since we have a perfectly fine condo in Frisco). Pool, more rooms....a perfect get away for our family. We will grill, swim, shop and than take a special hike to leave Dad in one of his most favorite places.

I talked to Mom yesterday who is already up there. I asked her if she was sad to be up there without Dad and she burst into tears, than I burst into tears. I have found that lately that I will be cruising thru life and than burst into hard tears if anything having to do with my Dad comes up. I asked her to please stop crying and to remember all of the memories we have up there with him are GREAT memories. " I know, " she said," But I just miss him so much."

We all miss him so much, but I feel so awful for my Mom. Nik and I still have our husbands and our lives. She is left to start totally new.

I am sure this weekend will be tough on us all. But I am so thankful that we all live so close so we can do things like this together as a family.

I am not sure any of us will ever be able to wrap our arms around this new family of ours. But I hopeful that it will get easier. I am hopeful the tears won't sit so close to the surface.

A year from now...

In a year from now, we will be here-Playa Del Carmen- as a family....Mom, Nik, Mike, Jack, Cooper, Brian, Me & Baby Girl Dew. There will be huge hole in our hearts as we vacation in one of Dad's favorite location without him. I am sure it will sting. But I am also sure the fun that our sweet little girl and Jack and Coops will have will be proof that life goes on...

Mom is reluctant to make any plans these days, but Nik and I have been trying to quitely encourage her to make this plan...to make this plan with her girls and her boys. Dad would laugh at her if he heard saying she didn't want to go.

I think making these plans is a reminder of who is missing. Even as Nik was on the phone with the travel people it was strange to hear that we would have to pay for 4 adults in the suite, even tho there would only be 3 of us. I told Nik we would be paying for Dad's spirit.

I also think this will be a great trip for us....it will be after the " Year of Firsts" without Dad. It will be proof we all survived. It will be proof that we are still a strong family even tho we are one man down.

And, on a light & completely selfish note, after being 6.5 months into no drinking, this girl is looking forward to an all inclusive resort!