My IVF Plan

So, we have a firm plan.....thought I would share:

Saturday, May 2nd- Start my last pack of BCP
Monday, May 25th- Day 1 of IVF Cycle, ultrasound and blood
Wednesday, May 27th- Day 3 of IVF cycle, Let the shots begin
Monday, June 1st- Day 8 of IVF Cycle, Add in some stimulation shots
Around Sunday, June 7th- Egg retrieval,
Around Thursday June 11th- Implantation, followed by 5 days of bed rest

There are lots of ultrasounds and blood draws during that time too in which they adjust my meds as needed.

I am fortunate that I do not require as many meds as most, so I will only be needing to do shots at night!

Good thing Nurse Brian is cute!!!

I want to be a Mom like her

If you've been within earshot of me, or reading this blog, you have probably noticed I've been struggling with this whole IVF process. Well, yesterday I had my polyp surgery and my mom insisted she come up and take care of me.

When she was leaving, she said she had left a box for me and to open it once she left. When I opened it I found this, and the following letter:

Dear Bree,

I want you to open this gift and read the note from Aunt Denise. She brought this back from Australia before Jack was born. I've been keeping it for you, and now want to give it you and Brian as symbol of my belief that you'll have a beautiful healthy baby.

You've expressed your doubt about this procedure and that this is "your last chance". I've experienced miracles in my life and unexpected insights. I guess that's because I've lived so much longer than you.

God is here in this situation. I know He will take care of you. You need to trust, give it up, and let things happen. But remember this- Dad and I are always your support system. We will always be here for you and Brian.

Find some peace, and enjoy this exciting time

Love to you both,

Mom

Oh, for F*#! Sake!

Seriously? Seriously? Thanks to a mandatory work trip in early June, we have to postpone IVF, yet again. I damn near cried at Kohls while talking to the IVF nurse.

So, it looks like we get to wait this out for the next 8 weeks...

I am about at the end of my rope...

Come on, Already!

During a routine test for all this IVF stuff, they found a polyp. I go in for surgery on Thursday afternoon to have it removed. While I am not happy about it, I obviously want to do everything in my power to create "the right environment" for the little eggies.

The nurse called me today to discuss Thursday, and also said she had a bigger issue we needed to speak of....

She realized that to participate in a PCOS study (which pays us $2k), they need a certain test, which has to happen on a certain day. They did leave me a message about it, but it was the day of my meltdown and I just completely forgot. the result of this is that we have to wait for this certain day to come around again, which pushes off IVF to June.

I was so excited, well maybe not excited but you get my point, to start shots on Thursday of this week...now, we have to drag out the anxiety until June.

I realize it is just another month to most who are readying this, but when you are living with the anxiousness and worry, it seems like a lifetime!

Have I told you lately how much I HATE infertility?

OBX Day #7, Friday April 17th

The Sand Dunes. We had such a great time here, adults and kids alike. Some flew kites, some rolled, some cried when it was time to leave, all had a great time.

Friday night also brought us our last "Adults Only" dinner. We ate at The Black Pelican, an ocean front restaurant. I kept looking around the table just thinking how lucky we all were to be able to take such a wonderful trip with such wonderful friends.

Bree & Brian

Melissa and Andrew

Nik and Mike

Katie & Rob


CAN'T WAIT TO SEE WHERE OUR NEXT TRIP TAKES US!!!

OBX Day #5, Thursday April 16th

We visited Corolla, NC today to see this lighthouse. It was amazing, the views were unbelievable. Turns out we had a few wimps in the group who didn't want to climb and/or wimped out when they got to the top and looked down, but it was a great experience.


The beach was gorgeous today too!

OBX Day #4,POKER NIGHT

Sooooo, Wednesday night get it's own post....we played Poker....and it was one of the most fun nights we had. The laughs were out of control, as was Katie's competive nature. We were all still laughing the next morning...mostly at Katie...but laughing none-the-less!

OBX Day #4, Wednesday April 15th

We went to the Wright Brother Memorial today. It was a hike to get to the top in the flip flops I chose to wear that day, but the view was great.

This was also the day we learned of Cooper and Hannah's new love for one another. He asked if he could use my camera, and this is what I found on it...who knew a 5 yr old could be such a good photographer? Or, that a 4 yr old little girl would strike such a pose?

OBX, Day #3 Tuesday April 14th

It was gloomy and rainy today. We were lazy, naps were taken by all. The highlight of the day was the adults only dinner!

After dinner it was off to "Sunburn" the local pool bar. I love these fun girls!

OBX Day #2, Monday April 14th

We made our way to Roanoke Island on Monday to visit the Aquarium...which is was basically code for " Please pay $7 to get in and see 4 fish"...us adults were not impressed!

Next on our agenda was a mean game of Putt-Putt where the Dads had side bets going all over the place!

The night ended a hilarious few hours spent playing Wii!

OBX Day #1, Sunday April 13th

We arrived to our gorgeous beach house on Sunday- it was a mad scramble as people ran room to room to check out our new digs for the week. I think I heard Rob say something to the affect of " What is this? The Real World?"

Us ladies went to the store, and when we came back two hours later, found the husbands doing this:

We also started this nightly tradition:

The ridiculous laughing was in full affect!

The anticipation is killing me...

I swear, the anticipation of this upcoming trip is killing me slowly.....really, killing me slowly...

Brunch with the Girls

I had brunch with a few of "the girls" aka, sorority sisters from CU, this morning! It's been a busy year for us- a few wedding, a few babies, and a few newly announced pregnancies.

I think we would all admit we are not as good as we should be about seeing each other, but we always take off right where we just left off. I still cannot believe are old enough to have kids!

In this picture, Stephie is holding Finley Tumbleson and I am holding Alexandra Perkins.

Kari's 40th

We celebrated Kari's 40th last night at Wash Park Grill! Her parents and grandma from Minnesota flew in and surprised us all at the restaurant! It was a nice night.

Happy Birthday, Mike

Happy 35th to my brother-n-law, Mike!

What I am going to be looking at next weekend....

I thought I should post about something other than our fertility drama, and can't think of anything better than our trip next week.

It has been 14 months in the making, but as of next weekend, this is what I am going to wake up to each morning.

We fly to Norfolk, VA on Saturday where we will spend the night at a hotel with my sister's family and meet up with the Welsh family. On Sunday, we pick up our rental cars and head to the Southern Shores in North Carolina where the Odoms will join our fabulous crew.

We are looking forward to our week of relaxation- us adults want to visit the different beaches and lighthouses, the little boys are excited to visit some sort of Monster Truck show and the alligator park. Melissa found a local babysitter, so we are taking full advantage of two nights out for just the adults. Otherwise, we have no plans and will take day as it meets us.

The only downfall to this trip is that the Phillips have decided not to join us- but we have assured them their punishment will be multiple texts and drunk dials to remind them "how much they suck", in the words of my brother-n-law!

This trip is exactly what the doctor ordered. I can't wait to spend some time alone with Babycakes.

My cup runneth over, friend

I've been on the receiving end of some very nice emails and voicemails since my last post. For those that called, sorry I did not call you back- I am just to the place today where I can talk about it all without escaping tears. But I want you to know that I so appreciate your well wishes and healing thoughts.

Being overwhelmed is a state of mind that I have never dealt with gracefully, so why should I start now? Wouldn't want to disappoint anyone :)

I hope to have resolution to our financial woes by this weekend, and hopefully we can than sit back and start using my body as a pin cushion.

Thank you being such a good friend and loving me so.

Infertility Meltdown #2

Wow...I see a habit forming here when it comes to my recent meltdown activity...

Yesterday we had our kick off meeting- met with the embryologist, IVF Nurses, learned how to give shots, mapped out the days of this next cycle and was feeling really positive about the situation. Than we had our last appointment of the day which was with the financial department. Our expectations of that last meeting were very different than what happened. They had been telling us over and over that they have a medical loan program that is so easy, everyone uses it, great interest rates, and accepting of all applicants. Well, when we got to the meeting their story had changed and they informed us that with the economy, the denial rates were through the roof. This was the straw that broke the camels back, and I burst into tears in the meeting. I shocked even myself! Brian, on the other hand, said he had been waiting for that outburst and was surprised it took me so long.

When we did get home, we were promptly denied when we applied on line. I think they had denied us even before I hit "enter". This denial set off a meltdown of epic proportions....just ask my mom and sister.

If we can''t find the money, we can't have a baby...it's pretty simple math.

After 3 hours of sobbing, my mom came up with a possible solution which involves asking Granny for a loan. I have no clue if she will be up for it. I am literally sick to my stomach. If she says no, we may have to cancel everything.

This is like a never ending nightmare. Not one single part of this has been easy. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.