A Love Letter to Motherhood

A Love Letter to Motherhood
by Melissa E Jordan

What is motherhood but the very best chance to learn what you are made of? It will strip you down to nothing. Make you doubt yourself a thousand times. And it will make you roar with a fierceness you’ve never before seen. It will search your heart for your greatest fears and the bravest of all your intentions and set them out on display.

... It breaks you. It saves you. It steals the girl you were. All of her. You’ll never sleep like her or be as carefree as she once was, but she’d never believe the courage or the selflessness she’ll one day possess in you. Motherhood replaces her with someone who understands love on a level the girl you were never could.

It’s okay to sometimes wish you could go back and live a day in her shoes. A day to bask in the decadence of irresponsibility. But if she could look forward: If she could see herself tested, how her fears have been faced, how the question “Am I strong enough to survive this?” is answered with a resounding yes, time after time. She’d feel damn proud to become the woman that awaits her.

Happy 8th Birthday!

Dear Coop,
Another quick year has passed! You are now 8 years old and I can’t figure out where the time has gone.

The one thing I learned about you this year was how incredibly sensitive and intuitive you are to other people’s feeling. This last year we lost Grandpa I can’t tell you how many times I would look at you and see those big blue eyes full of concern staring back at me. You began to anticipate our tears and would hurry from the room to bring us tissues.

You were also very concerned with my pregnancy and asked me lots of questions. Mostly you confirmed your thoughts over and over to me how you knew baby Sydney would be just fine.

You got out of school early to come to the hospital when Syd was born. I was so nervous and scared before going into surgery and I will never forget how right before they Nurses came for me, we took one last picture….you, me, Grandma and your Mom. I remember you reached over and held my hand and squeezed it the whole time. It made me feel so much better and I was amazed that you knew that was what I needed in that moment.

You are so sweet to Syd and I know you love her. You are so gentle and always make sure to kiss her hello and goodbye. You have promised me you will always take good care of her and I know you will.

Coop, you are such a smart and out going boy. You make me smile and laugh. You make my heart proud.

I love you Coopey!

Love,
Auntie B

March

I was driving the other day and was thinking about our upcoming trip to CT, we leave on March 21st. That date was bothering me and it took a minute to remember why...March 21st marks the 1 year anniversary of our lives changing as we know it, it marks 1 yr since we got the call to head immediately to Nik's house so our parents could talk to us about Dad's shocking diagnosis of Cancer.

We would only have 8 weeks with our Dad after that night.

I cannot believe it has been almost a year since our world was turned upside down.