Dear Mr.....

Dear Mr.

No offense, but you are not my beer of choice, but since we have tons of you left over from the Yappy Hour, you will make do.

Thanks for keeping me company after a long day of work and people telling your boss they don't really like you. You are also helping me bring my blood pressure down after a tearful conversation with my Mom about my Dad's health. Though, I don't think there are enough of you to ever dull that pain.

I am also hoping that my days with you will be numbered as we try for Baby Dew Attempt #2 soon.

So, Mr. , thanks for hanging out with me until hubby gets home and I drown my sorrows on his shoulder.

Love,

Mrs. Dew

Infertility blows

It's a blizzard in Colorado, which I love. What i do not love is when too much snow piles up on our dish and I lose all TV...this was the case since noon today. Sure, I worked, but I like to have the noise in the background. Without the noise, I am forced to listen to myself.

Today, my head went on and on and on about how annoying infertility is. It complained how how long everything it takes, it complained how my body can't get anything right, the list goes on and on.

It's been almost 15 months now...shouldn't it be time for a break?

So, the moral of today, is to never let your Dish fill with snow....

Snow Day in Denver

This is what we woke up to this morning!

Gracie

Go easy, Gracie Girl. We miss you already.

Love, Auntie Bree

Yappy Hour

So, in the rescue world, we have such a thing as " Yappy Hour"- it consists of a doggie daycare donating their space, someone donating alcohol, and than all of us getting together for a fun evening. Little did we know that there is a specific " Meet Up Group" for just Yappy Hour lovin' people! So, we combined all these aspects and had a great fundraiser on Friday night for our rescue (http://www.bigdogshugepaws.com/)

You know I love to throw a party, so helping organizing this thing was right up my alley. Booze, friends, dogs, good cause and a silent auction is my kind of night! In fact, we had 3 tables of silent auction items! What is even better is that we raised $3250!!!!



That $3250 was greatly needed, so we are all so thankful for all the good people who came to support our gentle giants! I know not everyone loves dogs, but I am glad you love me enough to come! Kari, Regan, Kirby & Me

I am so proud of what BDHPI has become and the nationwide recognition we are getting! This rescue feels good to my soul!

MSA

My mom called today to tell me they were in Denver for a doctor's appt with my Dad's Parkinsons doctor and asked if I wanted to meet them for lunch.

Here is the conversation I was hit with as soon as I sat down:

Dad: "Well, Breezer, good news, I am not dying!"
Me: " That's great news, Dad! Were we worried you were??"
Dad: " Well, I was! The doctor thought I had MSA"
Me: " What the hell is MSA?!!!??"

He and my mom went on to tell me that MSA stands for " Multiple System Atrophy", which is rare and serious side affect of Parkinsons. The explained all of your major organs, like the heart, liver, kidneys begin to atrophy. The prognosis is always death, and an early death at that.

Needless to say my stomach dropped out, and tears came to my eyes. They explained that is why they had been up here for so many tests and MRI's, they of course didn't tell us because they didn't want us to worry.

When I got home, I googeled it. And I can see why the Doc thought Dad had it, the below list continues many, many of his problems.


MSA damages the nervous system, which can cause the following symptoms:

Changes in facial expression
"Mask" appearance to face
May be unable to close mouth
Reduced ability to show facial expressions
Staring
Difficulty chewing or swallowing (occasionally)
Disrupted sleep patterns (especially during rapid eye movement (REM) sleep late at night)
Dizziness or fainting when standing up or after standing still
Frequent falls
Loss of control over bowels or bladder
Loss of fine motor skills
Difficulty eating
Difficulty with any activity that requires small movements
Writing that is small and hard to read
Loss of sweating in any part of the body
Mild decline in mental function (may occur)
Movement difficulties
Loss of balance
Shuffling
Walking pattern (gait) changes
Muscle aches and pains (myalgia)
Muscle rigidity
Difficulty bending arms or legs
Stiffness
Nausea and problems with digestion
Posture difficulties: may be unstable, stooped, or slumped over
Slow movements
Difficulty beginning to walk or starting any voluntary movement
Freezing of movement when the movement is stopped, unable to start moving again
Small steps followed by the need to run to keep balance
Tremors
May become severe enough to interfere with activities
May be worse when tired, excited, or stressed
May occur at rest or at any time
May occur with any action, such as holding a cup or other eating utensils
Finger-thumb rubbing (pill rolling tremor)
Vision changes, decreased or blurred vision
Voice and speech changes
Difficulty speaking
Monotone
Slow speaking
Voice is low volume

Parkinsons is such an ugly disease. I hate that it has forced them to carry this burden for the past two months. I think it is crazy that even though I am 34, and Nik is 32, they still do everytihng they can to protect us...I guess that is what great parents do...protect their babies to the very end...

I love you, Dad!

Top 10 things you didn't know about me:

I thought this was a fun post.....

Did you know this about me?

1. I can wiggle my ears

2. I live in fear, and I mean total fear, of mice and sharks

3. I was part of a Sqaure Dancing club in 6th grade

4. I worked at McDonalds as a teen and ate, everday, a XL fry, 2 hamburgers and a vanilla shake and did not gain one single ounce!

5. I still adore my childhood blankie...go ahead people, admit you do too, you will feel better.

6. I love to look in peoples window as I drive by at night

7. I get mad at myself everyday for having such little patience.

8. I thought I would never, ever, ever, ever get married, and had planned out my single life. Now, I can't imagine Brian not next to me.

9. My Grandpa Dewey only had one eye. I loved it, it terrified all our friends.

10. The best gift I've ever received was a pony, named Andy.

What about you?

Gulp, Gulp

Gulp, Gulp go the fertility meds down my throat...Journey #2 is officially underway...God, give us strength!

Deacon Dew is 2

Baby boy Dew is two years old today!

Zachey Poo

Picture from Colorado Dog Magazine- Dec '07

Zachey Poo is our 5 yr old Great Dane. He is one of the most unique and special dogs I've ever met- which is exactly why I adopted him 4 years ago.

I was single when I adopted him, and only had Bobbie and Sadie- it was just the 3 of us. He had no manners, was not house trained, and not crate trained when I adopted him, but his souful eyes and hilarious personality outweighed all of those negatives.

He slept next to me in bed like another human, went to all of our public events together and rarely, rarely ever left my side. I could trust him 100% in any situation with any other dog or person.

Our lives together have been full of medical ups and down. Surgery for stomach issues, a few bone cancer scares, unexpected and still unexplained seizures, torn ACL, soft tissue injuries..the list goes on and on. All of these things are life threatening to Zach because his has such horrible orthopedic issues and a brain lesion, so surgery is never an option.

Sadly though, in the last 2 years Brian and I have been on the edge of our seats when it comes to Zachey Poo. His behavior is odd at best, we jokingly call him "Rain Man" because if we change his routine he either has a seizure or will rock back and forth until we figure out what it is that is troubling him. "What's wrong, Zachey?" is said often in our home.

Brian and I would do ANYTHING for this dog.

In the last 2 weeks, Zachey has begun pacing outside alot. Again, strange behavior isn't too uncommon from him, but seeing as how he has spent the last year rarely leaving our walk in closet, this is strange. We didn't' give it too much worry until this past weekend when the high was 26, and he was still outside. Last night Brian actually had to go into the yard, leash him, and bring him back inside because there was no way we would have slept knowing he was out there in the cold.

We are going to his vet today to see if there is anything causing this. Of course, we are concerned his pain is high, which is not a good thing. It is also very possible it is some sort of dementia, and if it is, it begs the question "Is he living a good life?". We will never allow Zachey to live with pain if we can't manage it from meds.

All we can do is hope for the best and continue to give Zachey Poo the quality of care he deserves. We adore, adore, adore this sweet boy! I cannot imagine our home without him, so I pray Dr Rob laughs at our worry and send us on our way!

Wiping off the dust

The Dews are dusting ourselves off, coming up for air, movin' on....I've been happy with the life decisions we've made in the past few weeks, it gives me something to look forward.

And just when I think I am back in control of myself, life happens and you are gently reminded that hearts don't heal so easy....I answered my phone today at work, and on the other end was a lady in our MI office, congratulating me on my pregnancy. At first, I was so confused, than had this awful wave come over me when I realized what she was saying. I awkwardly explained what happened, and she damn near fell out of her chair apologizing.

Of course, I than sat back and thought about how far along I'd be...and you know it only goes down hill from there....

But the good news, is that I am to the point where I don't burst into tears at the thought of it, I can hold a new baby and just think " I want one", instead of " I almost had one"and fall into a pity party. Brian and I are excited again.

I know the old fears will resurface, and I am sure I will add some new ones just for good measure as we move forward, but I think it's great we are moving! It was not fun being stuck.

So here's to a new chapter in our lives. I am glad I got to turn the page with my Love.

Another one!!!

The babies just keep coming! My hilarious sorority sister, Sara and her husband Aaron welcomed Audrey Brynn Alberding on Tuesday! She is adorable, with a head full of black hair.

I called Brian to tell him how I smelled like " baby", and he had no idea what I was talking about! But I am sure all of you ladies out there know exactly what I am talking about!

Congrats Aaron and Sara! You have a beautiful daughter!

Our houseguest and fertility $$

Meet Reese, a 13 wk old mini Aussie.

Our friend and favorite animal behaviorist, Kari, referred her client to us as a possible "Board and Train" resource. After a little talk, and realizing that the $$ will pay for the next fertility treatment, how could we say no?

So now, I've been tasked with housebreaking and crate training this little rascal. She HATES her crate and screams...what she does not know is that 100 dogs have gone before her and I will not fall for her act.

So wish us luck as we brave the bladder of a small puppy!

Another big HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my Dad!

This last year has been a tough one. I think we've all worked very hard not to let Parkinsons define his 74th year.

My dad is stubborn, opinionated and headstrong- my mom says I am just like him, and I couldn't agree more. Personally, I think those are wonderful traits to have! He also gave me the wonderful gift of ADD (Dad, I know Bri thanks you for that one!).

What many people don't see is the big softy he also can be when it comes to his girls and will cry at sad movie. And, if they allowed him, he would hug his grandsons all day long.

I've always been so proud of my Dad's career too. He is still the one Nik and I turn to when any decision needs to be made...even as adults.

So, here's to a Happy 75th Birthday and many more!

Ella is one!

Happy 1st Birthday to our darling neice, Ella!

Sorry our present gave you hives!

Love,

Auntie B & Uncle Brian

"Testing Faith" by my Sissy

This morning my sister texted me that she fears that her friend, who has two small children, is losing her battle with cancer.

I've met this lady once, we sat in my sisters garage and shared our stories of how awful a PIC line is. Her story has stayed with me as that her kids are the same ages of Jack & Coop- I can't even go there thinking "What if this was Nikki?" and "How unfair is this?"

Nik told me she blogged about it and I thought the post was really nice, so I thought I would share.

http://ordinaryfour.blogspot.com/2009/10/testing-faith.html

Her text has been haunting me all day...God Bless her, her hubby and two little boys.

Fall

Fall makes me so happy. I love the drizzling rain, I love overcast skies, I love sweaters & boots, I love wine & sweat pants. I LOVE IT!

Today I had to go to our fertility clinic, Conceptions, for some bloodwork and I purposefully pulled into a parking spot in front of a beautiful tree with tons of yellow and green leaves- it made me smile. When was the last time I smiled pulling into Conceptions? Ummmm....never, I am pretty sure. (Ok, well, I am sure I did once or twice but that loses the dramatic effect).

I have a good feeling about this fall! My dear friend found out on Friday she is expecting- after almost 4 years of trying, 4 or 5 failed IUIs and one canceled IVF cycle. Noone deserves this more than her. I am so excited she finally, finally, finally gets to have this life experience. THAN, Bri and I found out some exciting news that may result in us becoming pregnant in a much less expensive and invasive way.

Maybe Fall will bring a Baby Dew? I am hopeful, which is something that I have not been in the past ( Just ask Mr Dew who has should probably get a psych degree after dealing with me).

Hope floats, right?

Pink in Denver

Today is the Susan G Komen walk in Denver, CO. Today always makes me think of my Pelt's mom, Kay- all these years later and she is always the first person I think of when the walk comes to town. Kay beat the disease.

I know many woman are still battling it- God Bless the ladies and their families with the pink shirts, pink socks, pink hats, pinks tu-tu's and pink angel wings that made me smile this morning as I watched them cross the finish line.