Goodbye 2011

We are bringing this year to a close. It was my most profound year...I lost a parent and 5 months later became one myself. It doesn't get more significant than that.

I think of my Dad every day, multiple times a day. I think of his passing often and what an incredible gift that it was to be there, holding his hand, when he took his last breath. It was the single most precious moment of my life.

Sydney James Dew, named in his honor, joined us on October 12, 2011 and filled our hearts. She made me whole and in the single moment of her birth, wiped away that dark cloud that had been hanging over me for the last 3 years. I am overwhelmed with my love for her and for my husband who gave me this precious girl. Neither of them will ever truly understand how deep my love runs.

I know my Dad watches over her and I know he already saved her life once. I very much feel his presence in her.

Our Dew side of the family was also granted their own personal Christmas miracle when my brother- n- law received the gift of LIFE, in the form of a double lung transplant. There are no words to describe the magnitude of this gift and the relief it brought to all, but mostly to Becky and their girls. Our hearts will always be very heavy for the Donor family who lost their loved one right before the Holidays. Such joy from such tragedy will never make sense.

We also said goodbye to our Zachey Poo Dew, the Great Dane who taught me about the love of a rescue dog. His passing coincided with Dad's, so I often think about how I haven't really mourned him. I know it sounds silly but the night I came home in between my Dad's passing and his funeral, I turned a corner in our house and swear, beyond a shadow of a doubt, I saw him lying in "his spot" on our couch. It was comforting and freaky all at the same time. I guess I still very much feel him in our lives. We also said goodbye to Lily Dew, a permanent foster, who loved me very much.

2011 will go down in the record books as the year that brought me the greatest joy and the greatest sadness I've ever known. It is a very strange to have such two polar opposite feelings.

I am excited to see what 2012 hold in store for us.

I hope for healing and continued happiness.

May all of you who are reading this find peace & happiness. For those of you reading this who are still longing to become parents ('cause I know there are a few of you) , don't give up hope... it may be ugly, it may be tough, but life can change in an instant. I wish for you the joy I've finally been given.

Welcome 2012!!!