Samantha

We went to Samantha's funeral today. It was a beautiful celebration of her life, full of laughs and tears. The skies opened up from my eyes when her Dad got up to read her one last bedtime story....Heidi was the BDew supplier of tissues this morning.

It just seems so unfair that a family has to go through such tremendous pain. It's hard to make sense of such a loss.

All we can do is offer up our prayers and hope they are given strength in the time to come.

Miss you

Dear Jackey Boy & Coopey,

I've been missing you a lot lately. Please come see me soon.

Love,

Auntie B

Unfair

I determined long ago life is unfair. It doesn’t make sense. It hurts. I sometimes get caught up in all of that and forget to be so happy for what I DO have.

Late last year I was gently reminded of that when my sister’s friend lost her battle with cancer, leaving behind her adoring husband and two young boys.

Sunday I was reminded of this again when I got the very sad news that 4 yr old Samantha had passed away. It was a shock to all. My good friend Heidi is great friends with Sam’s Mom, Heather. Over the years I’ve gotten to know Heather, and have always thought she is such a cool, classy lady. She’s a great writer (http://www.samsmom-heathers.blogspot.com/), super kind & thoughtful and a Champion for all things Samantha.

Samantha’s family has been heavy on my mind this week. I can’t even pretend to have any sort of understanding of what they are going through. What I do know is that no parent should ever have to bury their own child. Unfair doesn’t even seem to scratch the surface.

Brian and I will be there to celebrate Sam’s life on Saturday.

Thank you, Samantha, for yet another reminder to live in the day and really love the ones you love.

Camp & Adventures in Babysitting

When most people of camp they think of wood cabins, lakes, sneaking over to the boy's camp....when the Polumbus family thinks of camp they think of Two-a-days, hot sun, drills, yelling coaches, and hotel living. Thus begins Bronco Camp.

So Friday night, Liz & Tyler had a "Going to Camp" bbque so we could all wish Ty well and welcome Liz into her camp widow life. I forgot my camera, so you can just going to have to believe me when I say we spent a nice evening out on the deck with one of our favorite families!

Go #76

Saturday had us taking a drive to Boulder to visit Farfel's Farm- a cool dog store on Pearl St in Boulder. We had a great turnout and Deacs was a hit! Brian, as usual, was a total sport too!

Saturday evening had me returning to my 15y old roots....babysitting, yes I babysat Emma and Hailey while the above mentioned families went to a family party. I guess the only difference was that I was allowed to invite a boy over to "help" me.

We love Emma and are so happy to be a part of her life!

It also reaffirms that my husband will be the best father ever!

It's hawt in here

101 degrees yesterday.

We went old school and bought a baby pool and set up camp in the front yard for a while. We had high expectation for the dogs to love their new gift.

Dog 1- Deacon was afraid of it .


Dog 2- Zachey was flat out not participating in our games

Dog 3- Where is Bobbie you might, ask? Well, she was inside hiding under our bed in fear we may be giving her a bath ( as we sometimes do in the front yard)

Dog 4- Sadie LOVED it. She ran in and out of it, than rolled all over the front yard.

It went on and on...

..and on....

and on...

Goodbye Max

We had a very tearfilled goodbye with Max today.

His time came too soon- his fear and aggression towards anyone other than Brian or I became too much and we made the very painful decision to let him go.

He adored us, he protected us to his last breath.

We will miss you Maxi and are absolutely sick over making this terrible decision. Your collar will now hang with the collars of the Dew dogs that have gone before you...hopefully they will show you the ropes until we meet again. Please give them all a smooch for me.

Pimp my ride

As I was wrapping up the work day on Wednesday I was on the phone with my boss and was receiving multiple texts and emails from Brian saying, " Call me ASAP".

I missed the first few due to my chatting, so finally I received an email that said, :

"Will you call me back if I tell you I got a new car for you?!?!"

And look, he really did!

It's only money....

Brian and I had what will be our last doctor's appointment at Conceptions for quite a few months..a re-group with our Doctor.

We laid it out...not pregnant, emotionally spent and flat broke. When I told him we were $26k into medical bills since January 2009 he was shocked...really, really? You charge freaking $20k for IVF, why are you shocked?

My brain started humming while he tried to explain another IVF treatment would work----um, if we had another $20k it might!But since we don't, we are going to focus our attention on our little frozen embies.

They are going to stay on ice for the rest of 2010. They will probably make an appearance in early 2011. He gave me a list of things I needed to do this fall to prepare...my brain started humming again....especially when he said I would have to repeat a quick, yet very painful procedure, to "prepare my uterus".

The things we do for frozen babies....

Playlist for Mr. Dew

My dear husband,

You wanted to know if I added any songs on my Playlist for you....of course I did, baby.

My first response was "A women's work is never done"....followed by Adam Lambert's, "Whataya want from me"....because I know how much you love when I blast it on the car radio when it comes on...

But in reality, I always keep "Bless the Broken Road" on the list as that this was our wedding song....this version is just music, sans lyrics...just for you.

I also add a little Dave because it makes me think of the time I borrowed your CD when we first started dating and how a year later you told me how horrified you were when you found it thrown on the floor of my car. That still makes me laugh...if you only knew of what was to come.

I would tell you to listen to the lyrics of "Make you feel my love" by Adele, but I know that is outside your realm of capabilities...so I guess you are just going to have to believe me.

And lastly, I added "Little Moments" by Brad Paisley because it makes me think it would be the kind of song you would write for me....it makes me think of all the times I do something and look over to find you laughing at me, shaking your head and saying, "I love you!". I am going to have to ask that you spend 3 minutes of your life concentrating and actually listening.

Like I said, all my loved ones got a song that remind me of them....but don't worry...you got the most.

Playlist for Mrs Hayes

The first thing I do every morning, I come to this blog so I can listen to the music during the day. All of my favorites...

I love music, I love listening to lyrics. My sister will call and say "Have you heard XYZ? Go listen to the words.". I love when someone turns me onto a new song. I am always telling Brian the same and looks at me like I am crazy and claims he can't listen to "the words"...it must be a girl thing.

Yesterday I got a text from my sister-n-law, Becky, that read, "Is it a problem I turn on your blog to listen to the music?".

It made me realize it was time to update my songs. So today as I was choosing new songs I was picking songs that reminded me of my loved ones. So, Mrs Hayes, I picked one just for you.....go listen to the words of "Fall into Me" by Sugarland. I thought it was very appropriate for what's going on right now. Song #4. Love you.

My 4 day weekend

Our weekend started with a bit of a jolt due to Brian's work and a broken hand, but we did our best to try to enjoy the weekend once Sunday rolled around.

We had a bbq on Sunday with these great girls and babes (hubbies too):
Monday we ventured off to Boulder to walk around Pearl Street. We had a nice lunch, good conversation about our future. It was a really nice way to spend the day off. Kari and Dan had us and Deacon over for dinner on Monday night.

I took Tuesday off and spent am impromptu day at the pool with Heidi and her kiddos. As I type I can't help but feel a sunburn coming on...

It was a good 4th, with a little sprinkle of job stress on top. I guess I shouldn't expect perfection!

Happy 4th Weekend

The BDews are excited for another action packed weekend!

Cherry Creek Arts Festival, Sushi with friends, BBQ & powerwashing the deck (I am throwing this last one in for Babycakes as a reminder he gets to do that too this weekend!)

Here's a to happy and safe 4th of July from our home to yours!