As Ross would say...

…We are on a break. No, not from one another silly, but from baby making.

One’s heart can only take so much hurt, and one’s pocketbook can only take so many debts.

I simply need a break. We’ve been pushing my body hard for 1.5 years and our emotions have been all over the place. It is hard to live like this month after month.

Brian initiated the conversation about making this big life decision, and while I waiver between anxiety and relief, it is hard to stop. I told someone it’s like playing Blackjack…”what if the next hand I win?”…”what if next month is the month?” You could drive yourself crazy.

So, for the rest of 2010 we will be relaxing. Saving money, detoxing my body and looking forward to a time where we aren’t always worried.

2011 will bring some big decisions. We are close to having a new plan. We know there is more than one way to make a family.

My sister-n-law sent me this today:

We know we'll have a baby. And we're going to have the baby we're supposed to have. Whatever baby we end up having will be the right baby. Our baby. And we know that we'll hold that child and think, 'If our journey had been easy, we wouldn't have you.' --Emily Giffin, Baby Proof