We found out yesterday that Baby Dew Attempt #2 did not work.
This is literally the most physically and mentally exhausting journey of my life- 15 months is a really long time to be dealing with all of this crap. To be no further along on November 2009 than we were in August 2008 is disappointing beyond words.
I spent my plane flight home last night wondering how much longer I can keep this up and keep my sanity intact. I wondered how much longer do we actually do this before we throw in the towel? Will we ever be parents? But I also know we can't imagine a life without children either, so I know we will keep pushing, but at what cost?
Everyone tells me "It will happen. Be positive!"---but how do they know?
I have to go back today for another round of bloodwork and ultrasounds to prove what I already know...no baby, just more medical bills to add to our pile.
Winning Powerball, or coming in to some sort of mysterious inheritance would take a 10 ton brick of our shoulders..but I don't think that is going to happen either.
So, we will keep pushing on as we always do. Try to smile and hope people believe me when I say, "I'm fine."
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2 comments:
Bree I so very sorry. Sometimes it's okay not to smile and be fine....
you're in our thoughts :)
XO-Heather
Bree, my heart breaks for you and Bri. We feel so helpless watching our dear friends suffer through such a roller coaster of painful emotions. I just wish there was something we could do to help you through this! My Lord, we do not seem to be able to escape the challenges and sorrows this year. Perhaps 2010 will bring about some happy times for us all. Please know you are in our hearts and prayers, always
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