Is the day that this world lost the most amazing Husband, Father & Grandpa. It is the day that my life changed forever. It is the day that I was lucky enough to be holding my Dad's hand as he left this earth.
I've never felt so many emotions in the span of a few days. Relief that he is long suffering, scared that he is gone, sick to my stomach when thinking of our family without him, nervous for my Mom as she tries to find her way, profoundly sad our baby girl won't know him, proud of his legacy, humbled by people's love & support....it goes on and on.
For those that have experienced a death in the family can probably relate to our situation in the sense that our life has been running at 100% force for weeks. Physically and emotionally exhausted from his illness and physically and emotionally exhausted from taking care of all the things that needs to happen after a death. I told my Mom yesterday that I haven't even had a change to sit down and mourn his death since we are running like crazy women trying to plan a funeral.
I came back to Denver yesterday afternoon after 10 days in my parents house. I was ok until I was going to bed and walked by our engagement picture that we used as our guest book at our wedding. For what ever reason, my eyes went straight to it and directly to my Dad's handwritten note. To see that familiar writing literally stopped my heart. I choked out a cry.
I think it will take a lot of time to accept this new reality. My Dad was so ill and suffering at the end that we were relieved for his passing. I prayed and prayed it would happen. But when I see pictures like the one at the top of this post, when I see a healthy and happy Dad, my heart breaks.
Life is so confusing right now, but one thing I am certain of is that it was an honor to be Jim Munger's daughter.
No comments:
Post a Comment