Born in the Heart

Those of us who struggle with infertility often wonder "How many more times can I do this?", and that answer is definitely different for everyone. And, once you've decided that that answer is, you have another tough decision.....than what?

For some, they stop trying, for some they move onto donor eggs, and for some adoption.

Adoption has always been on my mind, I've always loved the idea for as long as I can remember. I have always been perfectly ok with taking the adoption route, but for Brian it has been a bit harder to stomach the fact that we may not be able to have our own genetic baby. He always seemed to wrestle with it a bit more than I did.

Around the time that the adoption talks really began in the BDew house, our good friends Andy & Anita were approved to adopt from an agency in Castle Rock. Three weeks after their approval, and much to their shock & excitement, a gorgeous baby girl was placed in their home.

Brian and I have really enjoyed watching their family grow...albeit literally overnight. It has been amazing to see how their lives have changed by this one sweet little girl. We were all together on the 4th of July, and after they left Brian said "I could do it. I could adopt. Elliotte belongs to them, no matter what! Andy is so happy. I want that!"

So, Miss Elliotte, not only did your change your Mommy & Daddy's life, you also confirmed to The BDews that a family can be created in more ways than one. It was a pretty cool gift you gave us.

We were super excited to celebrate Elliotte's official adoption day (10.8.10) with a great dinner at Miyama! We got her a cute little Snow Globe with "Now I lay me down to sleep..." prayer on it and had the date engraved on it.

Here's to families that are born of the heart!

Today is a good day in the world!

...cause it marks the birthdays of two of my favorite people.....

Dad- Happy Birthday. I love you so very much. You continue to fight the good fight and I admire you so much for that.

And to Ella, Happy 2nd Birthday! We miss you and wish we could be there to help celebrate!

Zachey Poo Dew

I love all my dogs for different reasons, but there is something special about a rescue dog. They know how bad it can be, so they really appreciate how good they have it, which is the case for Zach aka Zachey Poo Dew.

Sadie, Bobbie & Deacs have been handed the world on a silver platter, and while they would die for me, they don't "get it" like our sweet Zachey does.

I adopted him when he was 2 ( or so we guess). He had a large open gaping wound on his chest and the white of his fur was stained yellow from dirt and urine. Anytime I picked up a broom or shovel, he would immediately fall to the ground in fear. After I adopted him, he became a total wild man with no manners. I distinctly remember having a bit of buyers remorse. But, I committed to him and commit I did. I got up 20 min earlier every day so I could wrestle him into a crate. I patiently stood in the yard while he jumped and jumped and jumped on me with his talon nails running down my back and waited until he was calm. I didn't' freak out when he ate all of my cookbooks. After 6 months, he woke up one day and had reigned in his wildness.

Zach is so sweet and special. He has tons of medical issues, but I absolutely adore him.

Last night I was sitting on the ground with Deacon and Zach decided that it was he who should be on the receiving end of my affection and sat square in my lap. Bri and I are always worried about his health and quirky behavior, so it was nice to see him act like a regular lap dog...even if my legs went numb.

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Fall Drive

I love Fall. I love taking drives to see the changing leaves. This is how a conversation went when Brian and I first started dating...

Me: "I love Fall. We need to take a drive up to the mountains"

Him: "Have you been to Mt Evans? Want to go?"

Me (totally joking): "Not if this is the place where you take all your girls."

Him (in total seriousness): "Ok, I will think of someplace else!"

Turns out Mt Evans was romantic spot for a few of him and his past lady friends, and almost 4 years later we finally made the drive ourselves. It was gorgeous.I highly recomend a drive, and dont forget to pack a picnic lunch!

Brad, Hootie & The A Team

Nik and Mike were married for 8 years before I met Brian. Those were 8 long years as me as their third wheel, as their sidekick. The day before our wedding I had lunch with just Nik and Mike at our favorite Dillon, CO lakeside cottage restaurant. Mike toasted "the last lunch".

This past weekend we went to see Brad Paisley and Darrius Rucker. Realizing there was no way Scooter Boy could hack rolling through Fiddlers Green, he was left only to a small pre party prior to the concert.

After we kissed BDew goodbye, the three of us started our walk to the amphitheatre

Me: "Hey, it's just like old times..just the three of us!"

Mike: "The A Team is back together!"

So, off we went...the A Team....just like the good ole' days.

Darrius, aka Hootie, opened up. He ROCKED the house. New songs and old. I love him as a country artist, but those old Hootie songs brought a huge smile to my face. It took me right back to Boulder and my AXO days.

Speaking of AXO....we got to see our old sorority sisters Ally and Ang...girls a few years younger than me. We did our best to corrupt them, but I was glad to see they are still the same beautiful girls they always were (now both Mothers to 3)

Brad put on a great show as usual...even venturing out to those of us who buy the cheap seats.


It was a gorgeous Colorado night, live music, cold beers...the only thing missing was Mr. Dew

PCOS

PCOS is to blame for my lack of natural mommy-hood.

PCOS makes us gals insulin resistent (think diabetic).

A few shared that low carb diets help gals with PCOS, but this gal who too overwhelemed with hormones to add another thing to her plate.

Now that this gal is hormone free, it is time to look at these so called PCOS diets. For this, I have called in the big guns and had my first meeting with a nutritionaist (http://piercewholenutrition.com/)

We are only one session in, but for a wide varitey of cool reasons she has me on the following:

Vitamin B Complex
Probiotic
Cod Liver pills
Flax seed oil (it's like drinking two tablespoons of olive oil)
and one other thing that is escaping me right now...

All I know is I just swallowed 4 pills and drank the flax seed oil and now I can't stop burping. How is burping supposed to get your better half in the sexy mood?

Anyhoo, we meet again next week to discuss what foods will work best to combat the insulin issue...she said high protein, high fat (good fats) and lower carbs.

Here's to a pill popping, flax seed burping PCOS fight

What's your plan?

Maybe people aren't used to me being so quiet, but I've gotten a lot of questions and emails that start with, "So, what's your baby plan these days? You've been so quiet about it!"

Well, when you aren't doing anything, there isn't much to blog about. We are still enjoying our 6 month break...only 3 months left! Times flies when you are having fun.

We do have a plan though, one that involves one last medical attempt and if that doesn't work than adoption. We've been having long talks, making plans, getting excited, becoming inpatient.

This much I know for certain, The BDews are once again hopeful. Hope was all put lost a while back and as my friend Anita put it, "It's like you are finally off the sinking ship!"

A few weeks ago as we were ending one of our talks, Brian said, "Well, either way, by the end of 2011 we will be parents!" and it is something that rings in my head all the time. It is something that when I repeat to friends, huge smiles spread across their faces. It's a wonderful way to look at things. Thanks, Babe.