The anticipation is killing me...

I swear, the anticipation of this upcoming trip is killing me slowly.....really, killing me slowly...

Brunch with the Girls

I had brunch with a few of "the girls" aka, sorority sisters from CU, this morning! It's been a busy year for us- a few wedding, a few babies, and a few newly announced pregnancies.

I think we would all admit we are not as good as we should be about seeing each other, but we always take off right where we just left off. I still cannot believe are old enough to have kids!

In this picture, Stephie is holding Finley Tumbleson and I am holding Alexandra Perkins.

Kari's 40th

We celebrated Kari's 40th last night at Wash Park Grill! Her parents and grandma from Minnesota flew in and surprised us all at the restaurant! It was a nice night.

Happy Birthday, Mike

Happy 35th to my brother-n-law, Mike!

What I am going to be looking at next weekend....

I thought I should post about something other than our fertility drama, and can't think of anything better than our trip next week.

It has been 14 months in the making, but as of next weekend, this is what I am going to wake up to each morning.

We fly to Norfolk, VA on Saturday where we will spend the night at a hotel with my sister's family and meet up with the Welsh family. On Sunday, we pick up our rental cars and head to the Southern Shores in North Carolina where the Odoms will join our fabulous crew.

We are looking forward to our week of relaxation- us adults want to visit the different beaches and lighthouses, the little boys are excited to visit some sort of Monster Truck show and the alligator park. Melissa found a local babysitter, so we are taking full advantage of two nights out for just the adults. Otherwise, we have no plans and will take day as it meets us.

The only downfall to this trip is that the Phillips have decided not to join us- but we have assured them their punishment will be multiple texts and drunk dials to remind them "how much they suck", in the words of my brother-n-law!

This trip is exactly what the doctor ordered. I can't wait to spend some time alone with Babycakes.

My cup runneth over, friend

I've been on the receiving end of some very nice emails and voicemails since my last post. For those that called, sorry I did not call you back- I am just to the place today where I can talk about it all without escaping tears. But I want you to know that I so appreciate your well wishes and healing thoughts.

Being overwhelmed is a state of mind that I have never dealt with gracefully, so why should I start now? Wouldn't want to disappoint anyone :)

I hope to have resolution to our financial woes by this weekend, and hopefully we can than sit back and start using my body as a pin cushion.

Thank you being such a good friend and loving me so.

Infertility Meltdown #2

Wow...I see a habit forming here when it comes to my recent meltdown activity...

Yesterday we had our kick off meeting- met with the embryologist, IVF Nurses, learned how to give shots, mapped out the days of this next cycle and was feeling really positive about the situation. Than we had our last appointment of the day which was with the financial department. Our expectations of that last meeting were very different than what happened. They had been telling us over and over that they have a medical loan program that is so easy, everyone uses it, great interest rates, and accepting of all applicants. Well, when we got to the meeting their story had changed and they informed us that with the economy, the denial rates were through the roof. This was the straw that broke the camels back, and I burst into tears in the meeting. I shocked even myself! Brian, on the other hand, said he had been waiting for that outburst and was surprised it took me so long.

When we did get home, we were promptly denied when we applied on line. I think they had denied us even before I hit "enter". This denial set off a meltdown of epic proportions....just ask my mom and sister.

If we can''t find the money, we can't have a baby...it's pretty simple math.

After 3 hours of sobbing, my mom came up with a possible solution which involves asking Granny for a loan. I have no clue if she will be up for it. I am literally sick to my stomach. If she says no, we may have to cancel everything.

This is like a never ending nightmare. Not one single part of this has been easy. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.