Fa la la la la

The Dew house is decorated!

It takes 2 ladders to decorate our monster house!

As we got out our stockings, we realized we ordered these from Pottery Barn before we got Deacs in Dec '07- so we had to rush order another one for him this weekend. Doesn't he look sad?

Lights, Camera, Action

Prayer

Prayer time at The Munger Thanksgiving, always brings the room to tears. This year was no exception. My sissy filmed the prayer, what she missed was everyone raising their heads to begin to laugh and wipe their faces when it was over.

http://ordinaryfour.blogspot.com/2009/11/thanksgiving-pictures.html

Blessed are the Turkeys

You know you're a teenager when....

You know your inner teenager is alive when you are so excited for Saturday because that is the day you and your friend ( who is pregnant with her 3rd child) get to go spend a few hours with this guy:

Oh Edward, you make my heart go pitter-pat.

My weekend...photo style

Friday Night: Katy Griffin & The Tilted Kilt

Saturday: My AXO girls and their precious babes

Sunday: Polumbus Football!

Putting life into perspective

My sister Nikki, lives in Colorado Springs and has one of those fun neighborhoods where all the kids are friends, all the moms drink wine together, all the dads help one another build swingsets over cold brewskies. They cook meals for one another when sick, they babysit as needed, and try to be an extended family for one another. Sadly, they also all gathered together yesterday to celebrate the life of one of the neighborhood moms who is sadly, and quickly, losing her battle to cancer.

When I spoke with Nik yesterday she said, "Other than my wedding, and the birth of my boys, it was one of the most life changing experiences of my life." She was about 1 minute into her story before we were both in tears. She told me how the wonderful husband of this woman flew in an musician who plays all John Denver songs- her favorite artist. He threw a neighborhood concert for close family and friends- they gathered around his sick wife and laughed, sang and cried. Nik said not a single person in the room had a dry eye. She said watching her friends parents, sister and husband gather around their sick loved one was gut wrenching and profound. She said knowing that this woman is leaving behind two little boys- 5 & 8- was almost too much to bear.

I cried long after I got off the phone with Nik last night- I went out into the family room to tell Brian and he ended up getting up to hug and console me. I just cannot imagine dealing with such a horrific situation. Saying goodbye to your babies? Saying goodbye to the love of your life? It is truly unimaginable.

Nik called me again before she went to bed last night, and we cried again. If we feel this way, can you imagine how M.H.'s husband feels? Or her sister? Or her parents? What about those precious little boys? M.H was the first thing I thought of this morning, and she's been in my thoughts all day today. My sister doesn't think she will make it through the week...

It puts a lot into perspective. I guess it's not that big of a deal Brian forgot to shut the guest room door before Nik and Mike came up for Kathy Griffin on Sat night and let Bobbie get dog hair all over their clean bed after all.

This is supposed to be such a wonderful time of the year, and I just feel so awful for this family. My heart literally hurts for them.

Kiss your loved one. Hug your loved ones. Please pray for M.H.

Hellllooooo Weekend!

This is who we are going to see tomorrow night with Nik & Mike:
This is where we will be Saturday Night:

This is where we will be Sunday:

Bring on a great weekend!!

Happy 1st Finley

Rock your 1st Birthday, Fin! We love you!

ps-I just realized I wore this exact same sweater today too!!!

Thanksgiving

I realize I spend a lot of time on this blog boo-hooing about my life. I think I neglect to mention at the times the innumerable things I am grateful for. Here is my abbreviated version:

1. Brian- the love of my life, the person who puts up with my craziness and complete and utter lack of patience, the person who I can trust with anything, the one I cannot imagine my life without.

2. My parents-My greatest supporters. The ones who pray for me, the ones who love me no matter what, the ones who encourage me not to give up.

3. Nik & Mike- My best friends, my confidants, the ones I can always count on for deep belly laughs.

4. Jack, Cooper & Ella- Our precious niece and nephews. I can't imagine our lives without their beautiful faces.

5. The Dew/Hayes Crew- The far away family we talk of daily.

6. Bobs, Sades, Zachey & Deacs- our fur babies, who literally make me laugh when noone else can.

7. My friends- college, work & rescue- the support you've shown us over the last year has been incredible and can make me cry just thinking about it.

8. Big Dogs Huge Paws- This rescue is a huge part of who I am. The pride I have in what we've accomplished is amazing. It brings me so much happiness and such a sense of accomplishment. We are changing lives, both humans and dogs.

9. For the doctors and nurses working so tirelessly to make our baby dreams come true.

10. For our health, jobs and Brian's new pay raise! BRING IT ON BABYCAKES!

I know I could sit here and list out a million other things- that's a great feeling. I need to remember to come back to this place from time to time to remember how great I really have it.

Weekend Fun & Exhaustion

The boys were with us thsi weekend. Chuck E Cheese Friday night, Astro Boy & Red Robin on Saturday, Turkey Fry Sat night! The BDews are EXHAUSTED!

The boys were in heaven with all the dogs too!

Starting over...again...

We found out yesterday that Baby Dew Attempt #2 did not work.

This is literally the most physically and mentally exhausting journey of my life- 15 months is a really long time to be dealing with all of this crap. To be no further along on November 2009 than we were in August 2008 is disappointing beyond words.

I spent my plane flight home last night wondering how much longer I can keep this up and keep my sanity intact. I wondered how much longer do we actually do this before we throw in the towel? Will we ever be parents? But I also know we can't imagine a life without children either, so I know we will keep pushing, but at what cost?

Everyone tells me "It will happen. Be positive!"---but how do they know?

I have to go back today for another round of bloodwork and ultrasounds to prove what I already know...no baby, just more medical bills to add to our pile.

Winning Powerball, or coming in to some sort of mysterious inheritance would take a 10 ton brick of our shoulders..but I don't think that is going to happen either.

So, we will keep pushing on as we always do. Try to smile and hope people believe me when I say, "I'm fine."

Let me introduce myself

Meet Dot. She's 8, deaf, has bad eyes, big hips and was kept in a tiny dog run by a backyard breeder. He died, and only than did any of his dogs find any peace.

She's been in rescue for 5 weeks. I've been stalking her the entire time. I've been talking to Brian about her the entire time. I've been forcing Brian to look, and than re-look, at her pictures the entire time. Brian and I even laid in bed one night trying to come up with the perfect old lady name because she came in with the name "Mama". We laughed when we came up with Dot.

The opportunity came up for Dot to be transported to Colorado and Brian was kind enough to say we could take her in.

I asked him the other night, "Aren't you so happy Dot is here?", and he replied, "I am happy you are so happy" ( Don't worry Dot, you'll have him wrapped around your finger in no time!And I did notice you in his lap when I came home last night! That's a great sign)

Here is a pic of our newest house guest after Bri took her for a walk.

Tease, Tease, Tease

We received this email and photo last night from my sister and our good friends, The Mulloys, who are vacationing together in Mexico. BRATS!

"Hola Dews! Here is a picture from us and the Mulloys! Our condo is AWESOME!!"

Happy Birthday to Mom & Dad

We celebrated my parents birthday last night at Nik's house in Colorado Springs! Pizza, wine, chaos, kids running everywhere...the typical Munger family event!

Nik and Mike are off to Mexico today to have a belated celebration of their 10 yr anniversary with the Mulloys. J.E.A.L.O.U.S!

It's just like cancer....

"It's just like finding out you have cancer"....is how my mom likened our family's trials last week. You know, when you find something out that is too big, too overwhelming, too scary to process in one sitting. That is how the Mungers were last week.

A few posts ago I wrote of my Dad's relief he did not have MSA. Well, it turns out he does. It was like being hit with a truck. How can my Dad be sick? How can my Dad be faced with a disease that takes away his independce? How can my Mom handle this? How do I live a life without him?

We all spent a lot of last week crying- in the car, in the shower, over Budlight on the phone with my sister.

Nik and I don't tend to keep things to ourselves, so we reached out to friends. I received this email from a wonderful friend of mine...It took my about an hour to read it thru my tears, but it is something I keep going back to read.

Bree-

I delayed responding to your email because I wanted to get my thoughts in order. As you know, I have been where you are. I know the thoughts, feelings, heartbreak, and fear you and Nikki are going through. If I could stop it or take it away, I would do anything in my power to make that happen. I wasn't sure if I wanted to give you advice or just words of encouragement, but I do think I want to share with you some of the things I now know, and things I would have done differently.

First, know that everything you are feeling is okay and normal. Seeing your dad so vulnerable and your mom so helpless is not a good feeling, but allow yourself to feel it. Your parents will try and be strong for you, but don't try and be strong for them- or at least let them know how scared you are. You can be strong but scared at the same time. They will want to support you as you go through this too, but they will also want to protect you as your are their daughters. Let them.

Second, allow yourself to be angry. This fucking sucks!

Third, take each moment as it comes. With a diagnosis of Parkinsons, or MS, or MSA, there are so many unknowns... things to worry about, what ifs... My advice to you is don't worry until you have to worry, or it will eat you alive. Be hopeful, and take it day by day.

Lastly, love your dad more than you ever thought you could. Tell him. Show him, Thank him. Hug him. Do it becasue you can. I know you will not hold back, but don't be afraid you will show fear or cry- who cares?! You still have your dad, and now is the time to live in the moment. Don't take one second for granted. Spend every second you can with him and your mom as a family, and as a daughter.

My dad was sick for 38 years and fought every second of it. Your dad will too, because he is surrounded by love and support. While he may not be able to walk, or drive, or whatever, he's still your dad. Throughout my dad's life and all of his suffering, he was always an optimist, and never once complained. He always said "Grace Happens", and I never really knew what it meant until he was gone. I do now. Grace is in all of us, and you can use it to lift yourself up when you need it, whether your are sad because of your dad or infertility. And have Faith that no matter what happens, your dad will always love you more than you love him because that's what dad do. Tell him every day what he means to you. Ask him questions that you never asked. Take lots of pictures, and laugh with him!

I'm not sure if any of this makes sense, but just know that I am thinking about you and your parents as you enter this unknown chapter. If you ever want to talk, or cry, or vent, I'm here, and I know exactly what you are giong through.

I'm so happy you're my friend.

Ouch, Strike 2

I had a message from a co-worker that said, "Hi Bree, hope you are feeling well. Call me". I thought it was weird she hoped I was feeling well since I haven't spoken with her in a few months and she had no way of knowing that a hacking cough has been present in my body for the last 3 weeks.

I didn't' think much of it, and called me back this morning. The first thing she said was, "I hope you are feeling good! Are they giving you the H1N1 vaccine, cause you are really going to need it". It than it dawned on my that she thought I was still pregnant. I clearly had forgotten to tell her I wasn't.

As you might suspect, she tripped over her words and apologized. Of course, there is nothing to apologize for, and than I found myself comforting her for asking.

Who knows, maybe we will have some more uplifting news to share in the near future? I've already asked Santa.

See, there are good people in this world

Meet Cassie:

Before BDHPI: neglected, emaciated, over bred, no medical care, crusty eyes, 30 lbs underweight

After BDHPI: happy, loving, affectionate, vet visits, pain meds, clean eyes and the ulitmate diagnosis of partial blindess

Cassie's life now: 100 acres, 3 cats, 3 horses, is going to travel the world with her new family attending horse shots. When they are home, she will go to work with her new mom. New dog beds, lots of treats and love! And most importantly, a new mom who does not care about the title of "Special Needs"!

Cassie & her new mom

Stage Mom & the Diva

I happened to be filming Coop when Nik decided to give him a little advice about his performance, and he quickly let her know his thoughts!