Healing

It's been a week...one shitty, long week...

I had the D&C on Friday, and immediately had to leave for a business trip on Sunday. I wasn't physically ready to go, and definitely not mentally ready, but I went anyway. I was so busy in Michigan that I really didn't have too much time to think too deep. I didn't even realize it until I landed in Denver last night and it was all I could to keep the tears from falling as I walked through DIA. I guess the reality of being home was also the reality that I needed to deal with all the emotions.

Brian and I had an appointment with a therapist today who was recommended by our fertility clinic. It was the first time I had gone to a counselor and I was so nervous. Thankfully the woman was very kind and very welcoming..so much so that I burst into tears as soon as I sat down and didn't stop until our session was up.

It was reassuring to hear that what we are feeling isn't "strange" or "uncommon". It was reassuring to hear that the sadness we feel, and the disappointment in our dream not coming true is OK to feel. It was nice to hear I don't have to keep telling everyone "I'm fine", when really, I am not.

I think it was a great first step, and continue to think time will bring the greatest sense of healing.

The only thing I do know right now is that I am married to the best man in the world. This has reinforced our friendship, our love, our marriage and the fact that when all else fails we will always have one another.