A Love Letter to Motherhood

A Love Letter to Motherhood
by Melissa E Jordan

What is motherhood but the very best chance to learn what you are made of? It will strip you down to nothing. Make you doubt yourself a thousand times. And it will make you roar with a fierceness you’ve never before seen. It will search your heart for your greatest fears and the bravest of all your intentions and set them out on display.

... It breaks you. It saves you. It steals the girl you were. All of her. You’ll never sleep like her or be as carefree as she once was, but she’d never believe the courage or the selflessness she’ll one day possess in you. Motherhood replaces her with someone who understands love on a level the girl you were never could.

It’s okay to sometimes wish you could go back and live a day in her shoes. A day to bask in the decadence of irresponsibility. But if she could look forward: If she could see herself tested, how her fears have been faced, how the question “Am I strong enough to survive this?” is answered with a resounding yes, time after time. She’d feel damn proud to become the woman that awaits her.

Happy 8th Birthday!

Dear Coop,
Another quick year has passed! You are now 8 years old and I can’t figure out where the time has gone.

The one thing I learned about you this year was how incredibly sensitive and intuitive you are to other people’s feeling. This last year we lost Grandpa I can’t tell you how many times I would look at you and see those big blue eyes full of concern staring back at me. You began to anticipate our tears and would hurry from the room to bring us tissues.

You were also very concerned with my pregnancy and asked me lots of questions. Mostly you confirmed your thoughts over and over to me how you knew baby Sydney would be just fine.

You got out of school early to come to the hospital when Syd was born. I was so nervous and scared before going into surgery and I will never forget how right before they Nurses came for me, we took one last picture….you, me, Grandma and your Mom. I remember you reached over and held my hand and squeezed it the whole time. It made me feel so much better and I was amazed that you knew that was what I needed in that moment.

You are so sweet to Syd and I know you love her. You are so gentle and always make sure to kiss her hello and goodbye. You have promised me you will always take good care of her and I know you will.

Coop, you are such a smart and out going boy. You make me smile and laugh. You make my heart proud.

I love you Coopey!

Love,
Auntie B

March

I was driving the other day and was thinking about our upcoming trip to CT, we leave on March 21st. That date was bothering me and it took a minute to remember why...March 21st marks the 1 year anniversary of our lives changing as we know it, it marks 1 yr since we got the call to head immediately to Nik's house so our parents could talk to us about Dad's shocking diagnosis of Cancer.

We would only have 8 weeks with our Dad after that night.

I cannot believe it has been almost a year since our world was turned upside down.

Valentine's Day Week

We had a busy week of fun times!

First, Mr. Dew gave me this wonderful gift ( plus a necklace that is en route)

Than, we went to see Lady Antebellum with Nik and Mike on Wednesday night. As always, we had a great time together. Lady A was awesome!!

Than, we headed to the mountain and I skied for the first time in 7 years- OUCH is all I have to say about that. I took a nice fall on the first run but it came back to me after that. I had so much fun.

The best part is that Dad was with us all day..in the helmet that I was wearing and the shortened poles that Jack was skiing with. Pretty cool.

Syd came and met us for lunch and was the cutest snow bunny I've ever seen.

Syd, you are 4 months old today. I continued to be amazed by you each day. You are "talking" all the time making the funniest little noises ranging from quiet coos to loud screams as you find your voice. Last weekend we heard your first true belly laugh. Up until now you've giggled, but this laugh is hilarious and you always leave me wanting more.

You've been drooling for the past month so we can only assume those teeth of yours are coming. You've had a few rough nights the last 2 weeks so we hope those teeth pop through quickly!

You are such a happy baby, easily giving away your smiles! You also started rice cereal last week and we've been adding in different fruits and veggies- so far you've had Peaches, Sweet Potatoes and Bananas- you love it all! You squeal when you see me getting your bowls out.

I love you Punky, more than you will know!

What every Dad should know about their Daughter

Saw this on FB (my main source of knowledge)from Faithpromise.org. I read this with Brian in mind, but it wasn't long before I realized that my Dad did all of these things for me. We will do the same for SJ.

Last week I was dropping my daughter off for a birthday party. As I was leaving a man stopped me asking for direction. He was standing with one of my daughter’s school friends. Immediately recognizing her I put my hand out and introduced myself explaining that our daughters sit together at lunch often. His reaction was sarcastic as he gave his daughter a side-ways glance. I didn’t fully catch what he said but whatever it was it didn’t honor his daughter in any way. Looking at her I could tell this was not abnormal behavior.

I’ll be honest… I wanted to punch him.

It’s challenging to articulate the influence a father has on a little girl. How much of his attitude and actions toward her can determine her future relationships. I remember how much stock I placed in what my dad thought of me. I remember how much I wanted him to be proud of me. To affirm me. To show me my value.

I remember how he would brag about me on the sidelines of the soccer field.

How he would tell me I’m beautiful.

How he would hug me so hard I couldn’t breath.

How often he reminded me as a teenager, “Never date a boy you wouldn’t marry.”
(What a way to narrow the playing field!)

Dad’s, don’t lose sight of the impact you have today on your daughter’s future. Here are three things I encourage you to focus on:

Affirm Her

She looks to you for affirmation, encouragement, & guidance. As she grows through puberty (ESPECIALLY, as she grows through puberty), she needs your voice reminding her that she is beautiful, valuable and worthy of love. If she can learn to believe you, then she’ll believe her future husband when he tells her the same things.

Set the Standard

Be the husband you want her to have one day. Enough said. Is it difficult? Yes. Does it mean sacrifice? Yes. Is it worth it? Yes. I watch my husband daily making changes to be a better husband and dad. He’s amazing. He demonstrates for our daughter the kind of man he wants her to marry one day.

Talk About the Standard

Talk about the future. As you “Imagine the End” and think about the man you hope she marries… talk about it! Let her know what you expect. Set the bar. She’ll do everything she can to jump over it.

Let me level with you, dad. The more you affirm her today, the less she’ll seek affirmation in some teenage boy later.

Happy Birthday to Me

We celebrated my 37th (gulp!)birthday with a low key lunch at Mom's house.

The generations: Syd LOVES the balloon we got for Daddy for his birthday:

Syd and her Dad are getting me an i-phone when my contract is up in March. I decided with my 37th year I will sadly give up my beloved blackberry and attempt to learn something new.

Bri filled our kitchen and family room with these beautiful flowers:

I loved celebrating my day with my girl who was, and always will be, the best gift I've ever been given.