Chloe Grace

We have a new niece!

Congrats Becky, Mike & Ella

Happy 7th Birthday, Coop!

Dear Coop,

Happy 7th Birthday, Buddy.

When I think back over this last year I just smile. You have turned into such a silly, funny and thoughtful young boy. You have an ability to talk like no other person I know.

You tell me all the time how you pray for a baby for Uncle Brian and I. You tell me that since you pray for it, it will happen. It warms my heart every time you bring up the topic, which always seems so random in nature, which makes me love you even more.

Your love for our dogs continues to grow and you love to come to our house and play with them. You coined the phrase, " Sadie AWES-O-M-E!" which is still making me smile.

I love your little high pitched voice and your hugs. I love your "performances" and how your body cannot be stopped when you hear music.

Your relationship with Jack runs very deep, and I can tell you from experience with your Mommy, how important that relationship will be when you are adults.

I love you so much and thank God everyday that you are my nephew.

Love,

Auntie B

What God Meant

My friend Suz and I both struggle with "Infertility", but for very different reasons. A year ago Suz was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer at the young age of 39- the last year has been tough for her as she struggled to come to terms the fact that she will not be able to have children. She sent this to me yesterday.

What God Meant
Author Unknown

What do I think God meant when He gave me infertility?

I think He meant for my husband and I to grow closer, become stronger, love deeper.

I think God meant for us to find the fortitude within ourselves to get up every time infertility knocks us down.

I think God meant for our medical community to discover medicines, invent medical equipment, create procedures and protocols.

I think God meant for us to find a cure for fertility.

No, God never meant for me to not have children.

That's not my destiny; that's just a fork in the road I'm on.

I've been placed on the road less traveled, and like it or not, I'm a better person for it.

Clearly, God meant for me to develop more compassion, deeper courage, and greater inner strength on this journey to resolution, and I haven't let Him down.

Frankly, if the truth be known, I think God singled me out for special treatment.

I think God meant for me to build a thirst for a child so strong and so deep that when that baby is finally placed in my arms, it will be the longest, coolest, most refreshing drink I've ever known.

While I would never have chosen infertility, I cannot deny that a fertile woman could ever experience the joy that I know awaits me.

Yes, one way or another, I will have a baby of my own.

And the next time someone wants to offer me unsolicited advice, I'll say, "Don't tell me what God meant when He handed me infertility. I already know."

Where have we been?

I haven't been here in 2 weeks. That is unusual for me.

This is what I have been doing:

Rescue.Dogs.Nephews.Nebraska.San Francisco. Wichita.Work. Long hours. Stress.Pet sitting. Praying for a friend. Praying for us. Praying for my Becky & Mike. Best review of my career. Fearful of losing Zachey. Acupuncture for me. Acupuncture for Brian. Running a mile a minute.

I think it is time to stop and smell the roses.

My Love Letter

Dear Bri,

I was watching the Today Show this morning and George and Barbara Bush were being interviewed about their collection of love letters they have sent to one another over the years. As George was reading one of the notes, he started to cry. So, as you might guess, I started to cry too. How could you not? I love that after being married for 49 years, he still cries because he is so overcome with his love for his wife.

I think that is how we will be. Not that you will cry while reading our flirty email exchanges from late 2006, but I know they will make us smile. They will make us remember how we were when we were young, carefree and hoping to fall in love.

You sent me some of those emails last week and I found myself laughing out loud. It seems so long ago. We've been through a lot since than. Life isn't as carefree but with each day I love you more and that says something!

I hope you know how much I love you as my friend and as my husband. You make me feel so loved and so beautiful. I am so thankful God made you for me.

I know I am sassy, inpatient, have a mouth like a trucker, and am easily annoyed a lot of the time, so thanks for being my Valentine in spite of those things. That is not lost on me.

I am excited for our date tonight and the exciting news that is bound to be coming our way.

Love,

Me

Air

So many years ago my friend Galen and I were discussing a friendship I had at the time that took a lot of effort. I was trying to decide if it was even worth it. He was so sick of my complaining and one day coined a phrase that I've held dearly ever since...

"People either give you air, or take your air"

It is simple, it is the truth.

Now, every friendship is give and take. We always take turns holding the other up, but when it stops being a reciprocal relationship, is when it is hard. When you find yourself exhausted after talking to a friend, or ignoring the call because you don't feel like putting on your therapist hat for the 2000 time that week....those are the friends that are taking your air.

I have taken my air very seriously, and have "cut" friends over the years if necessary. Some have come back, some never have. And that is ok too.

But I will say at this point in my life I have pretty phenomenal friends. When Brian and I met he couldn't get over how many good friends I have, separated into all of these little groups from different times in my life.

Last night Brian and I were talking about all of you- and how good you are. This weekend a friend from each segment of my life reached out to us...either in email, text, voicemail or in person to say hi, to bring us a yummy dinner or dessert, to say they are praying for us as we head into our last fertility treatment. Brian looked at me last night and said, "You really have the nicest friends!"....and I smiled....'cause I do!

I am feeling very thankful today for all of you, my friends!

The Tree

BEFORE:
AFTER:

I've been informed a 4th session is needed in a few weeks to finish the shading.

I will publicly admit that I do think it looks better after this latest session. It is still a ginormous tattoo, but Hubby wears it well.