Introduction to L&D

Our first introduction to Labor & Delivery, Floor 5, occured this afternoon. Not by choice, but by a nagging fear something was horribly wrong.

After I was done helping with BDHPI dog food distribution this morning, I followed Lisa nad Corey to grab a late b-fast. As I drove, it dawned on me that I had not felt Baby Girl move since the night before. But I reasonedI had been chatting and running around and not really paying attention, so after we got done eating I went home to relax and wait for those flutters.

Well, I waited and waited. I drank ice water. I called my sis for reassurnace. I texted sis-n-law Becky who advised drinking juice and laying on my left side. I called my mom. Finally, I called the doc.

I didn't want to be that crazy prego lady who was making things up, but the doc quickly explained that this stage in the game I should absolutely feel her move over a 2 hr period and since my window was longer than that to head in to L&D for a fetal check.

I summoned Brian home, I showered, I quickly weighed the chances something could actually be wrong.

We got to the floor, they strapped me in, the RN began to ask her 10,000 questions, when Baby Girl gave me and the monitor, a hard swift kick. And continued to do. I laughed and than apologized for wasting their time each time she did. Baby made a fool out of Mommy.

The nurse reassured me it was best to come in. We also got the good news that baby's heart is functioning at the age of a 32 week old baby, not the 29 weeks she. What an advanced girl we have!

As we sat in the L&D room, I got a big dose of reality as I couldn't help but think of my impending labor. And, I am not going to lie, anxiety kicked in a bit. The room, the cabinets that I know "hide" all of the "tools", the baby warming bed. Excitement mixed with total dread.

I certainly hope I don't see that room for another 10 weeks but those images are hard to get out of my nervous head.

7 Months

Some Stats:

7 months pregnant

Baby Girl weighs 2lbs, 14 oz

She is measuring a week ahead of schedule

She kicks, hops, spins and twirls all day long. Best. Feeling. Ever.

Mommy is doing pretty good with the exception of exhaustion & carpal tunnel

As of today, 11 weeks left. Not that anyone's counting!

3 Years

3 years ago today I became Mrs. Dew.

We've lived, we've laughed, we've risked, we've lost & we've hoped.

It hasn't always been easy. I haven't always been easy.

This past year will always be defined by our pregnancy and the loss of my Dad. Neither of which I would have gotten through without Brian. He respected the fact that I tend to go inwards with my grief. He always offered to talk but never pushed. He let me lay on the couch and do nothing on the days that I needed to do that. He let me take my frustrations out on him. He loved in inspite of all of these things.

This year has been nothing short of a roller coaster for both of us. But as we always do, we come out stronger for it. We are one another's best friend. We always have one another's back. We are a team. It is what I've always wanted.

We are heading into our 4thrd year with great things on the horizon. Baby Girl will be here in less than 12 weeks (hopefully not more!) Brian's career is taking off like he never dreamed it could have. We are in a good, good place.

I am a lucky girl. Probably much luckier than I deserve.

Baby's Room

Daddy has been working very hard! Baby Girl's room is very sweet, cute and peaceful, if I do say so myself!

Dad's Meadow

On Friday afternoon we headed up the hill to Keystone, CO. We rented a gorgeous condo and settled in for what I knew would be an emotional weekend for all. The good news is that little boys have a great way of keeping things light!

On Saturday morning, we headed up the mountain...

We found a perfect spot to spread his ashes. We prayed, we cried, we laughed, we drank champagne. It wasn't easy, but it was peaceful.

We all miss him so much.

Saying goodbye....again

This weekend the family is heading to the mountains, a favorite weekend get away for all of us...even tho I can't tell you the last time we all managed to be up there at the same time. But this weekend, it is a priority for us all. Mom, The Zemans, Aunt Denise & Woo....we are going to celebrate Dad and say goodbye...again.

We rented a house in Breck (cue Dad rolling over in his grave since we have a perfectly fine condo in Frisco). Pool, more rooms....a perfect get away for our family. We will grill, swim, shop and than take a special hike to leave Dad in one of his most favorite places.

I talked to Mom yesterday who is already up there. I asked her if she was sad to be up there without Dad and she burst into tears, than I burst into tears. I have found that lately that I will be cruising thru life and than burst into hard tears if anything having to do with my Dad comes up. I asked her to please stop crying and to remember all of the memories we have up there with him are GREAT memories. " I know, " she said," But I just miss him so much."

We all miss him so much, but I feel so awful for my Mom. Nik and I still have our husbands and our lives. She is left to start totally new.

I am sure this weekend will be tough on us all. But I am so thankful that we all live so close so we can do things like this together as a family.

I am not sure any of us will ever be able to wrap our arms around this new family of ours. But I hopeful that it will get easier. I am hopeful the tears won't sit so close to the surface.

A year from now...

In a year from now, we will be here-Playa Del Carmen- as a family....Mom, Nik, Mike, Jack, Cooper, Brian, Me & Baby Girl Dew. There will be huge hole in our hearts as we vacation in one of Dad's favorite location without him. I am sure it will sting. But I am also sure the fun that our sweet little girl and Jack and Coops will have will be proof that life goes on...

Mom is reluctant to make any plans these days, but Nik and I have been trying to quitely encourage her to make this plan...to make this plan with her girls and her boys. Dad would laugh at her if he heard saying she didn't want to go.

I think making these plans is a reminder of who is missing. Even as Nik was on the phone with the travel people it was strange to hear that we would have to pay for 4 adults in the suite, even tho there would only be 3 of us. I told Nik we would be paying for Dad's spirit.

I also think this will be a great trip for us....it will be after the " Year of Firsts" without Dad. It will be proof we all survived. It will be proof that we are still a strong family even tho we are one man down.

And, on a light & completely selfish note, after being 6.5 months into no drinking, this girl is looking forward to an all inclusive resort!